My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
