I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
