if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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