come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
