did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
