I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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