So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
