we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
