Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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