Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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