i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My vagina is officially offended.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
