apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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