I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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