Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
