Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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