Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
