umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
