I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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