he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
