So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
