The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
