ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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