She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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