Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
