She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
