He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
