I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
