We named our party play list daddy issues
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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