Quick, to the slutcave!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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