Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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