You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
please come you make the beer taste better
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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