hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
