It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
