Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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