i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
