He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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