Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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