So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
