Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
