David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
