I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
