Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
