people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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