what day is it and did you see me today?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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