i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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