i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
