I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
