rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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