Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
