you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
