Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
