so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
